Monthly Archives: October 2013

mmm fall.

I truly can’t believe it, but this is our last fall for a long time. 😦 One of the first benefits that Tim and I reaped by going to Taylor was this magnificent season. I mean for pity’s sake, it’s 90 degrees in both South Florida and the Bahamas right now, and the only trees I see in those parts are Palm Trees (which, don’t get me wrong, I adore). It’s just that it’s going to be hard giving up this relatively new discovery of ours, and so we’ve been trying to think of ways to celebrate this last one. Here is our tentative Fall To-Do List:

  1. Acquire pumpkins. (Done on October 10. Maybe there are literally hundreds of pumpkins currently decorating town. Maybe some storefronts and inns and restaurants have an excessive amount on display. Maybe Summer and I decided to help them out [of course I add her in to the blame]. And maybe there are now four delightful pumpkins sitting on my porch.)
  2. Decorate and carve said pumpkins.
  3. Hike Whiteside Mountain to take in the foliage. (Check out this recent article about Whiteside).
  4. Rake and play in the leaves before the lawn service does.
  5. Bake something new with pumpkin. (I’m thinking pumpkin scones considering Tim and I are constantly tempted to live off the Starbucks ones.)
  6. Make something involving apple cider. Maybe this is apple cider itself, or whatever. We’ll see.
  7. Go to an orchard or a pumpkin patch.
  8. Go to some type of festival. (We went to a state fair on September 11 and an apple festival last weekend. Like many events we get excited for in these little towns, neither quite lived up to the hype. Sigh.)
  9. Drink hot chocolate at Sunset Rock.
  10. Have some sort of Halloween Party. (Sweet, innocent Tim McD and Kimery are coming to visit and I’m thinking I’m going to force some sort of fest on them muahaha. Of course, this will probably end up being us starting a Harry Potter movie while drinking this. Just kidding, I hope we’re not that boring yet.)
  11. Take a million photos of Summer…oh wait. I do this daily.
  12. Dress her up for Halloween! She and I will be in Ft. Lauderdale for this occasion and boy does my mama have plans.

So there’s a start at least. Who knows what will happen ha. Anyway, I’m sorry it took me so long to post again. It’s mostly because last week we had a really terrible time with Summer. She cried constantly, needed to be held all the time, woke up throughout the night, and just seemed miserable. She also started to get a little rash on her forehead, tummy, and feet. I was so upset for a while, thinking that her personality must have altered and now I had a miserable baby instead of a happy one. Which, of course, would be fine cause it’s not like she’s going to be a baby forever–I just missed her giggles and smiles and stuff. But then in addition to the rash, she stopped wanting to eat anything and thus stopped wetting her diaper. We finally realized that she must be sick. We went to the doctor last Monday and he told us that she has a little stomach virus, which was also causing the rash (luckily Summer had a really mild version). He recommended that we give her Pedialyte to keep her hydrated and told us that it should remedy itself in a few days. Luckily, he was so right. After only one or two small drinks of Pedialyte, she was ready to nurse again, which was a HUGE relief. We made it through several episodes of diarrhea and just one more grumpy day and then she was back!! We are so grateful that she got better as quickly as she got sick. This is the first time she’s been ill, so Tim and I feel like we’ve made it through another parenting challenge. High five (said like Borat). The last few days I’ve inadvertently been doing even more fawning over her because I’m just so grateful that she’s still the same sweet yummy girl.

Other recent highlights include a visit from Ellen, a Taylor friend yesterday! She was a junior when I was a freshman, and that class on our wing treated us babies like royalty. Best upperclassmen award, for sure. I hadn’t seen her in a couple of years, so it was great to be with a fellow 2CO lady, catching up and walking around Highlands.

Also, Tim has been kicking butt at both work and school lately. He’s had an amazing work week, what with town being CRAZY and packed with leaf-lookers and such. He’s so sweet and complains so little. What a troopah. Also, he’s got a 97% in his class right now BAM.

And also! Summer is so close to crawling! She gets herself on her hands and knees all the time, and then pushes up into planks haha. Little yogi. But still no mobility!

And finally, here are some recent photos. 🙂

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on love.

I think…Summer sort of told me she loved me last night (not with words of course, let’s not get crazy). This is something I wasn’t expecting for years, and I also wasn’t sure what it would feel like. I mean, kids simply do not have the depth and severity of love for their parents like parents do for them. My love for her is completely unconditional (but obvious and not-so-obviously  differs from the love between Tim and I). Tim and I will always have an exchange, actions and words that keep the other one aware of how loved and adored they are. We can always count on each other for that. But with Summer, I am totally prepared to lavish everything I have on her without the same sort of reciprocity. Therein lies the mystery in what receiving love from your own children is like. But just yesterday, I think she and I exchanged something like an understanding of love. For all I know this is completely in my head but whatevs. Allow me to describe:

Last night Summer had a particularly monstrous bed time.

Typically, she’ll have a bath, be really cuddly and giggly for a bit, and then settle down for the last supper. Most nights she falls asleep while eating. Whenever she doesn’t, we just lay her in her crib after we are positive that she is no longer hungry, and sometimes she’ll cry and squirm about for a while but she falls asleep on her own pretty quickly. Recently, this has all been transpiring by 11:00 the latest, but last night 11:00 came and went and there was little chatty Summer, displaying zero interest in leaving the party. Uh-oh.

At a little after 11, I laid her in her crib. This was met with expected crying so I quickly left and shut the door. (Such sounds are too painful to bear.) Ten minutes go by and this girl is WAILING. I mean screaming, freaking out, losing it. I went back in her room half-tempted to rip it apart searching for the predator making her squawk so hideously. I rubbed her back and shushed her until she calmed down. Side note: it really is the weirdest thing that babies like being shushed. I literally loathe it. Actually, it’s the only time I got mad during labor–when I thought Tim was shushing me.

I stayed for a long time and when she seemed okay, I left again. This time it took only two minutes for the crying to escalate to sheer hysteria comparable to a miserable hyena. Nonny Karen is visiting so she went in to have a go at it. By this point, we are all on the verge of tears because of how horrid and sad the crying is, and because we are simply dying to watch the season premiere of Homeland and we’re already a day behind (#goodbyebreakingbad). Haha just kidding, it is completely because we hate when she cries (she so rarely does) and by now I’m feeling like the worst mother in the world. I keep thinking about how she must be so mad at me cause if I were her I’d be screaming in contempt, not loneliness. Like jeez woman why you gotta be so cold.

Soon I heard footsteps coming down the hallway and thought “Holy crap. This has gotten so bad that Summer taught herself to walk so that she could escape.” But no; I learned that as soon as Nonny picked her up, she began throwing herself at and reaching for the door. So now here she was: her face salty and wet and her eyes fixed on me. I am the target of her fury and I am full of guilt because she must feel full of betrayal. Tim took her and whispered loving thoughts to her in a way that would have hushed me contentedly, but to each their own, I guess. Her eyes stayed on me. I ashamedly began making my way towards her to shower her in apologies and kisses and cuddles, and I was met with her lunging at and reaching for me. I winced and prepared for the blow, but no. She just held me and I seriously died. She just hugged me and cried into my shoulder much more softly, and truly we were both so grateful for each other. I bounced her up and down until she finally slipped into slumber. In order to prolong this magical moment of her sweet love, I shrunk into the rocking chair and just kept her close to me for a while longer before I laid her peacefully in her bed. I was literally ecstatic.

I know I’m really stretching the significance of this, but to me her choice of, hugs for, and contentment with me was a gift. It was her saying “I love you, mama!” long before I expected it. I am so excited for little gifts like these that I will unexpectedly receive throughout her life, hopefully culminating in her friendship.

Side note: Summer totally adores Tim. I’m definitely not the only person she ever wants to spend time with. And when Tim is playing his guitar or singing, it’s over. And also she was alone with Nonny for a while yesterday and today and was totally happy. This was just a random incident of her wanting my affection that just slaughtered me with yummies.

P.S.S. I am in no way against Ferberizing.

Lastly, this was all over by 11:45, for those interested.

Here are some photos!

glider high chair